At age 41, I must admit, I feel strange for not feeling a sense of “home” geographically. We live in Northern California now, and though I was born in this state and feel a deep connection here, I don’t know if I feel like it’s necessarily “home.” (It’s growing on me, so we’ll see.)
I’ve been to a lot of fantastic places and there are many more that I’d love to go. But I just don’t know, especially at this point in my midlife, if any single locale will be “home” to me.
It’s unsettling. I’m envious of people who have lived in one place for a long time and have no desire to leave. Who are genuinely thriving like thick, green trees planted in the soil of their hometown.
I know I’m not alone in this. More and more of us are in this situation being better able to work remotely. And how long do people under 50 stick with one job in one location? A few years, at most?
I’ve come to terms with the fact that home is not a place, but people. Home is wherever I’m with Alex and Rory. They are my home and I’m blessed that they’ve kept me around.
But what if it weren’t for them? What if I never tricked Alex into marrying me? What if Rory were never born? Would I then be out of luck, rendered forever homeless?
Finding a home in a zipcode or a person/people is a great thing, but it’s also easy to fall into idolatry and co-dependency.
I think it’s possible to zoom out and find a sense of home in… God. I’m not talking about God as an imagined man in the sky, necessarily (though this, I suppose, can be comforting too). I’m talking about a sense of home in the relationship with the ground of being - with life itself. I’m talking about a state where you bring home with you wherever you are. This triune relationship between you, your neighbors (even if they’re currently strangers), the land that carries you, the God that sustains your life, and the love that ties them all together is your Ultimate home.
May this relationship with the Triune nature of Life grant you a deep and true sense of home. And may your life be a reflection of this homecoming.
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