Rory, my kiddo, is in the thick of 4th grade. She’s 10. And things are getting very complex as far as social dynamics go.
Here’s an observation…
Some of the kids she has trouble getting along with at school; she’s fine with on a 1-on-1 basis. This one kid I’m thinking about - totally fine when they’re playing on their own at our house or theirs. They at least sincerely tolerate each other, it seems. But when they’re at school or in a larger social setting, maleficent forces intervene and the teeth come out.
I’m sure you can relate to this with your own family members and peers (I know I surely can). With most people, 1-on-1, we can do just fine and work things out. But put us in a group and there’s automatically a hierarchy - a pecking order that gets overlayed on us from an unseen realm. We start picking sides and choosing alliances. We play one person against another. Shared enemies create deeper camaraderie.
Ugh…
Social structures are very real things, not just ephemeral theories. They can impose a felt limitation on how we live together.
In Joy,
Jonas+
That was one of the hardest challenges in raising my daughter - to help her navigate, cope and understand middle school - when I really wanted to "snatch them up" as my dad would say. Single parent mama bear syndrome. BTW, she turned out great. ;)
As an underdog in high school, I can relate. I pray that God will teach your daughter how to handle this with His grace and humour.