"I was trying to manifest my way out of my story instead of letting grace meet me in it." This resonates Big Time. Like you, I've been a seeker for as long as I can remember.
As a little boy baptized as a Roman Catholic, I recall asking my parents to take me to church. Mind you, in those days it was in Latin and as a little guy, I didn't understand a word that was being said, which turned out to be a good thing.
I would run up to the front pew and sit there in Awe. All I knew was that I resonated with something I strongly connected with. Maybe it was the music, the magnificent artistry of the stained glass, the image of Jesus with the little lambs and children. All I know is that it wasn't intellectual; I was having an experience. And it felt, well, beautiful.
As I got older and had my First Communion, I didn't understand why I had to go to a priest for confession. Why couldn't I talk to God directly? And that question took me away from the Roman Catholic Church.
At 13 I saw a bunch of kids who seemed really happy, which was in direct contrast to what I was experiencing at home. Turns out they were born-again Christians. They told me if I accepted Jesus as my personal saviour, I would be guaranteed a seat in heaven for all eternity. That seemed like a pretty good deal to me. That, and I've always felt a strong connection to Jesus, someone I wanted to be around.
So I became "that guy" in school who carried around his bible with my other textbooks. I became familiar with scripture, went to a Methodist church 3 days a week, sang in the youth choir, plus a bible study on Tuesday nights. There I was, quoting scripture and handing out "tracks" on street corners, preaching the "good news" with all the sincerity of my 15-year-old self. I was saved, and I wanted others to be saved too. How sweet is that?
And in those years, I was saved. I was given a place to go where others cared about my well-being, gave me direction and loving support, along with something to believe in.
When I would listen to the minister, I resonated with the sermons, for the most part. The thing is, I was taking on someone else's interpretation and beliefs about the Bible, as my own. I recall feeling that some of what I was hearing didn't quite feel right. It felt almost hypocritical, though well-intentioned.
It was all going along pretty well until I found myself falling in love with the other tenor in the youth choir. Needless to say, all hell broke loose inside. How could God, whom I loved with all my heart, condemn these two innocent 17-year-olds who sincerely fell in love with each other? The conflict became too great inside, and once again, I chose to leave and seek answers to that question.
Enter new thought, metaphysics. I'm not going into all the variations on that theme; suffice it to say the journey continued. With each discovery and insight, and with great enthusiasm, I would say to my friends, "Hey, look, I found the answer," and proceed to buy them the book as well. Eventually, I got the message from them saying, "We're happy for you, but we don't need any more books."
And I began to realize that this was my journey.
When I discovered the Course in Miracles, it was revelatory. I felt like someone had given me back the Bible, but with a new perspective. One that resonated. I could not find any hypocrisy. I also knew this was for me, where I am in my own development regarding awareness and consciousness.
My journey continues, and given that we are eternal in nature, I suspect will be ongoing indefinitely. I have made peace with the idea that there is no finish line, no Super Bowl or Academy Award to win. Simply more expansion in consciousness, compassion, curiosity and love.
Speaking of, this is why, in my own experience, I resonate with you. My respect for your ongoing soul's evolution, the way you embrace your humanity and that of those around you, touches my heart deeply. I can see us way back when, standing together on a hillside, listening to the sermon on the Mount, and sharing our joy at the wisdom being spoken.
You, are my brother, as I am yours. And it continues to be my joy, privilege, and honor to walk this path along the way, with you.
Welcome back, Jonas. I’m in. I love reading about your journey as a fellow Lutheran and mystic. I haven’t read “A Course in Miracles” but will give it a try. By the way, the Jesuits have been calling to me lately. Try listening to the audiobook “Cherished Belonging” by Jesuit priest Father Gregory Boyle. You won’t regret it. :)
I've followed you since before Substack. It's been intriguing to follow your journey, even as it parallels, diverges, and then parallels mine again. The book "The Artist's Way" was a watershed for me 25+ years ago when picking up a Bible hurt. Lately I’ve been exploring mysticism more from the early Celtic Christian church myself.
I'm glad that you had a little time of rest, and catching up with a part of your faith that needed reinspection.
For the past year and a few months I have been getting to know the life, liturgy & beliefs of Messianic churches, (not Jewish believers, but Christians going back to the Jewish roots of the 1st century church). A movement I knew about for years, but never had the opportunity to experience. Once again it opened my eyes to the pagan side of "Christian festivals, Christmas & Easter".
But what opened my eyes even more was that Messianic believers, celebrate all the Jewish festivals, but with the focus on Yeshua as the fulfillment of those festivals. They stress obedience to the laws of Torah, but not as blind religion works for salvation, but rather from a desire to be obedient, because of already receiving Salvation in Yeshua. A mind-bending heart-changing shift in perspective for me.
having followed you" along the way" for almost as many years as Rory is old, I knew from the moment I met you that you were a seeker, a teacher and a mystic with a creative sense of humor. What a delight to see where you have landed and that you share your story with us. Love from your fan, LuAnne
What a joy to see your name pop up here, LuAnne :-) It’s so great to hear from you! You were such a big influence for me in my early days of venturing into this wild world of ministry. Your guidance has been palpable and I think about you often. Thanks for holding presence for me for so long. You’re truly a light🙏🙏
"I was trying to manifest my way out of my story instead of letting grace meet me in it." This resonates Big Time. Like you, I've been a seeker for as long as I can remember.
As a little boy baptized as a Roman Catholic, I recall asking my parents to take me to church. Mind you, in those days it was in Latin and as a little guy, I didn't understand a word that was being said, which turned out to be a good thing.
I would run up to the front pew and sit there in Awe. All I knew was that I resonated with something I strongly connected with. Maybe it was the music, the magnificent artistry of the stained glass, the image of Jesus with the little lambs and children. All I know is that it wasn't intellectual; I was having an experience. And it felt, well, beautiful.
As I got older and had my First Communion, I didn't understand why I had to go to a priest for confession. Why couldn't I talk to God directly? And that question took me away from the Roman Catholic Church.
At 13 I saw a bunch of kids who seemed really happy, which was in direct contrast to what I was experiencing at home. Turns out they were born-again Christians. They told me if I accepted Jesus as my personal saviour, I would be guaranteed a seat in heaven for all eternity. That seemed like a pretty good deal to me. That, and I've always felt a strong connection to Jesus, someone I wanted to be around.
So I became "that guy" in school who carried around his bible with my other textbooks. I became familiar with scripture, went to a Methodist church 3 days a week, sang in the youth choir, plus a bible study on Tuesday nights. There I was, quoting scripture and handing out "tracks" on street corners, preaching the "good news" with all the sincerity of my 15-year-old self. I was saved, and I wanted others to be saved too. How sweet is that?
And in those years, I was saved. I was given a place to go where others cared about my well-being, gave me direction and loving support, along with something to believe in.
When I would listen to the minister, I resonated with the sermons, for the most part. The thing is, I was taking on someone else's interpretation and beliefs about the Bible, as my own. I recall feeling that some of what I was hearing didn't quite feel right. It felt almost hypocritical, though well-intentioned.
It was all going along pretty well until I found myself falling in love with the other tenor in the youth choir. Needless to say, all hell broke loose inside. How could God, whom I loved with all my heart, condemn these two innocent 17-year-olds who sincerely fell in love with each other? The conflict became too great inside, and once again, I chose to leave and seek answers to that question.
Enter new thought, metaphysics. I'm not going into all the variations on that theme; suffice it to say the journey continued. With each discovery and insight, and with great enthusiasm, I would say to my friends, "Hey, look, I found the answer," and proceed to buy them the book as well. Eventually, I got the message from them saying, "We're happy for you, but we don't need any more books."
And I began to realize that this was my journey.
When I discovered the Course in Miracles, it was revelatory. I felt like someone had given me back the Bible, but with a new perspective. One that resonated. I could not find any hypocrisy. I also knew this was for me, where I am in my own development regarding awareness and consciousness.
My journey continues, and given that we are eternal in nature, I suspect will be ongoing indefinitely. I have made peace with the idea that there is no finish line, no Super Bowl or Academy Award to win. Simply more expansion in consciousness, compassion, curiosity and love.
Speaking of, this is why, in my own experience, I resonate with you. My respect for your ongoing soul's evolution, the way you embrace your humanity and that of those around you, touches my heart deeply. I can see us way back when, standing together on a hillside, listening to the sermon on the Mount, and sharing our joy at the wisdom being spoken.
You, are my brother, as I am yours. And it continues to be my joy, privilege, and honor to walk this path along the way, with you.
Gaaaaaah! Love you, brother!!
Welcome back, Jonas. I’m in. I love reading about your journey as a fellow Lutheran and mystic. I haven’t read “A Course in Miracles” but will give it a try. By the way, the Jesuits have been calling to me lately. Try listening to the audiobook “Cherished Belonging” by Jesuit priest Father Gregory Boyle. You won’t regret it. :)
A Course in Miracles. Sounds like a book I should read (third time in 3 weeks, this book has been referenced!).
Finished reading Grace and Grit (Ken Wilbur), where this book was mentioned numerous times.
Thank you!
I have been following and reading you since you were a golf pro. I look forward to what you have to say.
I've followed you since before Substack. It's been intriguing to follow your journey, even as it parallels, diverges, and then parallels mine again. The book "The Artist's Way" was a watershed for me 25+ years ago when picking up a Bible hurt. Lately I’ve been exploring mysticism more from the early Celtic Christian church myself.
Continue in God's Grace & Love.
I'm glad that you had a little time of rest, and catching up with a part of your faith that needed reinspection.
For the past year and a few months I have been getting to know the life, liturgy & beliefs of Messianic churches, (not Jewish believers, but Christians going back to the Jewish roots of the 1st century church). A movement I knew about for years, but never had the opportunity to experience. Once again it opened my eyes to the pagan side of "Christian festivals, Christmas & Easter".
But what opened my eyes even more was that Messianic believers, celebrate all the Jewish festivals, but with the focus on Yeshua as the fulfillment of those festivals. They stress obedience to the laws of Torah, but not as blind religion works for salvation, but rather from a desire to be obedient, because of already receiving Salvation in Yeshua. A mind-bending heart-changing shift in perspective for me.
Jonas,
having followed you" along the way" for almost as many years as Rory is old, I knew from the moment I met you that you were a seeker, a teacher and a mystic with a creative sense of humor. What a delight to see where you have landed and that you share your story with us. Love from your fan, LuAnne
What a joy to see your name pop up here, LuAnne :-) It’s so great to hear from you! You were such a big influence for me in my early days of venturing into this wild world of ministry. Your guidance has been palpable and I think about you often. Thanks for holding presence for me for so long. You’re truly a light🙏🙏